Don't hang up, hang on.........

Internet subscriptions are like getting a tattoo. Great idea at the time, but painful and frequently impossible to remove when you come to your senses. For some web-based businesses they appear to have become a perpetual sleeping earner, so long as the ancient art of stonewalling is part of your employee training.

Years ago, I opened a modest AOL account. That was back when we all needed help navigating Al Gore's great new invention. The monthly deduction of $6.95 has lurked on my credit card ever since. Its one of those calls I've always been meaning to make.

Last year, with the surge of enthusiasm for New Year cleansing, I called the AOL number helpfully printed on the credit card statement. The man from AOL "customer service" tried everything. Why did I want to cancel? Could I go on hold for a moment? What was my subscription number? What was my password? Perhaps I would like to try their new (offer) with extra (fill-in-the-blank-thing-you-don't-need). Could I repeat why I wanted to cancel? He couldn't find any record of my subscription. Then he found it. And he put me on hold again. Then he came back and said it was cancelled. Only it wasn't.

The following month, there it was again. Again I called. Another filibusterer. I reached his "supervisor". I begged, yes pleaded, to have my $6.95 back. They assured me it was canceled. It wasn't. My credit card company said they could take no action without confirmation from the retailer. Great. I'm embarrassed to say, I'm still a proud subscriber to AOL.

My wife had one, too. With a business called "Credit Inform" who send you a note when someone is poking around your credit report. She hadn't used it in 18 months at $8.95 a month. Same problem. Pin number, no record, security word, reference number. After more than half an hour of pleading (as a colleague here says, "another half hour you'll never get back") they agreed to cancel and apply a two-month refund. We'll see.

The motto: don't subscribe. But if you did, don't hang up, hang on........